A skin you call home & your lungs cant breath when your alone.

Lying emotionless on your back, you want whats yours but you cant have it back. Maybe I want what was never there. people try to understand then they vanish because they dont get it. Well I guess thats just it. For you to be safe and me to be brave we dont have to walk down that isle. People wont take the risk, the chance, theres to much possibility for pain, confusion, theres to many options out there for our youth to become stable. "Now that everyones dead we can finally talk."

Get what you deserve, you better spend it well.


-Everything is mixed up everything is odd. I find myself to be stuck in this hole. A hole that at first I didnt know why I was there.. First I stopped going out. then after that I slowly stopped hanging out with all my friends. I wasnt happy. there was something missing. I was bored. I got really depressed at first then after a million lonely nights (a million as in a month) I realized I was trying to find myself out there.. and I did. I use to be the person to crave attention, I wanted everyone to like me. I cared deeply what everyone thought of me. and that shit dosent matter at all. I dont need that in my life. I dont need anyones approval.. I have my own. People do so much to try to impress eachother its sick and I saw way to much of that when I moved back to Orlando. sometimes I really wish I could just move back to Chicago. I know I wont but the people there are really gen·u·ine

(gen·u·ine) - possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, or origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real: genuine sympathy; a genuine antique.

Im really being picky on who I choose to spend my time with these days i'd rather be by myself... one person who I would loved to spend every moment with is gone now. My best friend I love him. the only person I knew who was true even if he didnt know it. I hope he finds what hes out looking for. I act like im never going to see him again and I guess thats my own guilt coming out for how horrible of a friend I was to him when I came back. this time I guess I took him for granted. before he felt he did that to me I guess everything got switched up. I know that we will make visits but im really gonna miss having him within reach. now I guess its mixed cds with funny art on the cover packaged in some funky paper thats stamped and post marked.